First Days are Never Easy

The new semester is officially underway and what an introduction I've had. I made every effort to avoid the "first day scramble" but it happened anyway. I left the house 15 minutes later than I'd planned. I struggled down the 3 flights of stairs with suitcase, bag of trash, school bag and purse. Got to the car and realized that I'd forgotten the lunch and dinner that I'd painstakingly prepared. Back up the stairs to retrieve the food. Back to the car. Realized I forgot my hair accoutrements. Back up the stairs to retrieve the implements that keep me from looking bedraggled (all evidence to the contrary). Back to the car. Finally decided I had everything I needed and drove out of the apartment complex and turned west, remembering to throw away the trash before I left.

I got into downtown without incident, then all hell broke loose. I didn't print my notes, syllabus, or class rosters at home yesterday because my printer ran out of ink and I simply didn't want to buy more. I figured I could print at Big City University. Nope. Seems my computer and the printer had some sort of falling out over the holidays and now they're not speaking to each other. To further complicate matters, the internet also went down. Yes, the entire BCU internet system stopped working. By this point, I was a cursing machine.

The internet came back about 15 minutes before my first class. I rushed to print my class rosters from a colleague's computer and we rushed off to class......where the computer was cold from non-use. So, I had to wait for it to warm up - which took forever. Then, I couldn't find the remote for the overhead projector. I called the IT help desk and launched into a spontaneous stand-up routine. "So, anyone from out of town," I asked my students. I was about to say, "Funny thing happened on the way to the classroom..." when the IT guy arrived.

There we were in front of the whole class. I explained that I couldn't find the remote and he pulled up a window on the computer and clicked on a button. "We don't have remotes in these classrooms anymore, and we haven't had them for a while now," he said, condescendingly. Fighting the urge to slap him and call him any number of obscene names, I said, "There were remotes in these classrooms last semester." "In this building?" he interrogated. "Yes," I responded, fully aware that I was in front of my students and therefore could not rip the man's head off. He explained something else in his "oh, poor little stupid woman who can't work a computer" tone, and then he left.

OK, in all fairness, he'd probably had a bad morning. I'm sure I wasn't the only one cursing IT's name this morning. But still. My students were relatively forgiving and we stumbled through to the end of the class. My next classes went better. Now, I'm "enjoying" my 3 hour break before my last class of the day. In case you're wondering, 3 hours is a long time.

Elevator Entertainment

Today, I made my way to the Big Apple. I successfully navigated through the airport, negotiated ground transportation, and arrived at my hotel. It's significantly colder here. Like half as warm. Literally. It was supposed to be 55 degrees at home today. Here - 27 degrees. That was last night's low in the southland. I haven't been this cold since I left the NEPIW (northeastern post-industrial wasteland). I wore my hat today, as my hair will attest.


But, since I'm not 80, I'll talk about something other than the weather. I checked into the hotel and got in the elevator, alone. The doors closed and I heard voices. These weren't the regular voices I hear in my head (oh, admit it, you hear voices, too.) No, these voices were different, strangely familiar but strangely out-of-place.


I looked above the elevator doors and there was a TV screen. You're probably expecting me to say that the screen advertised hotel amenities, announced upcoming meetings, or broadcast the ubiquitious CNN headlines. Well, you'd be wrong on all counts. Instead, this hotel decided on a Popeye cartoon. That's right - Popeye the Spinach-Eating Sailor Man.



I believe that my mouth actually dropped open. I was speechless and completely baffled. It was as if I'd entered an elevator to the parallel universe where endlessly-looped Popeye cartoons made sense. Because I'm not from this parallel universe, the situation defied all logic. Why have a TV in the elevator? Why show cartoons? Why Popeye? Why....?


I've been in the elevator several times since this initial trip to Popeye-Land, and every time, there are Popeye and Bluto. I think it's the same cartoon. Something about Popeye fighting with Bluto and eating spinach. I know that narrows it down for you.


Much to my chagrin and disappointment, I've been humming, "I'm Popeye the Sailor Man" for hours now.