Shopping

Today, the temps and humidity dropped to tolerable levels and I decided that God was telling me to go shopping at the local outlets. Shopping at the outlets involves walking around on black asphalt and it's just been too hot in recent weeks. (I should mention that several of my friends went on a bike ride across Georgia last week, when it was over 100 degrees, and yet, I decided it was too hot to go shopping at a strip mall. I refuse to see this as a shortcoming in my character.)

But I digress...God reinforced his "get thee to the outlets" message by making it utterly impossible for me to put an outfit together. I just did laundry yesterday and I just wanted to wear shorts and a t-shirt. God hid all of my clothes and replaced them with boring stuff I've worn so often, I want to cry when I look at it. Never one to ignore a message from the Almighty, I headed to the outlets.

I met with success, if you consider buying about 1/10 of what I tried on to be success. I've said it before, but it bears repeating. Empire waists are NOT universally flattering. Stacy and Clinton on "What Not to Wear" are liars! If you are petite and are not troubled by a mid-section that has experienced child-bearing, empire waists are the worst fashion option. If I wanted to look short and pregnant, I'd be short and pregnant. I'm not having much success in finding Mr. Right, but I'm guessing that he's not out there looking for Ms. Short and Pregnant (or Dr. Short and Pregnant, in my case.)

Amidst shapeless tops and skirts that magically erased my waist, I managed to find some items that I decided to call my own and bring home. Overall, I enjoyed the afternoon. I think I'm pretty good at spotting a bargain and I enjoy the hunt. I've since learned the limits of my enjoyment.

When I got home, I opened my cable/phone/internet bill to learn that the "too good to be true" package I got when I moved has expired. I called the cable/phone/internet company to inquire about my options. I'm convinced that the fellow on the other end of the phone didn't actually work for the c/p/i company. He didn't know squat. I asked, "Can you tell me about your phone packages?" and he put me on hold. I asked, "Can you tell me about your cable packages?" and he put me on hold. I wasn't asking for company secrets, I was asking for basic information. When he returned, he told me all about some fancy package that included everything I didn't want for more money than I'd been paying. At that point, I remembered that this c/p/i company wasn't my only option. I could, in the words of Smoky Robinson, "shop around."

Shopping for phone/internet/cable is not nearly as much fun as shopping for a new dress. The cell phone woman tried to convince me that unlimited service for as much as I'd been paying for c/p/i would be a really good deal. In her words, "You'd pay $100/month and you wouldn't have to worry about limits." I responded, "Yes, but I'd have to worry about paying $100/month." Turns out, I can get a good deal for bundled services from the competing c/p/i company.

I'm still considering my options. I realize that I'm not getting the best deal with my current provider, but it seems like a big hassle to switch. Now I remember why people get married, so they can make their spouse deal with this crap and they can go out shopping for a new dress.