The tracks of her tires

It's taken a very long time, but Britney Spears has finally gained my respect. Seems Ms. Spears was leaving a doctor's office last week when the ever-present paparazzi sprang from hell and surrounded her car. Somehow, the car lurched forward. Maybe she meant to press the brake pedal, maybe not. Maybe she made a conscious decision to introduce her car to the photographers, or maybe her subconscious simply decided that enough was enough. We'll probably never know. But, what we do know is that Brit's tire rolled over a photographer's foot, leaving a track across his pristine white sock. That's right, the fellow was wearing white socks with sandals. From all accounts, he walked away without apparent injury, except to his pride.

I don't think he's pressing charges, since his crime of fashion clearly outweighs Britney's minor infraction. Score one for Britney, though I bet that sock is already fetching some hefty bids on eBay.

Britney and Neil, together at last

I've moved my gym operations into the big gym, out of the women's only room. I was driven into the big gym earlier this week when a bunch of ponytailed, young, fatless girls took up all the elliptical machines in the women's room (not that I'm bitter.) Thanks to them, I've discovered that the big gym is much more pleasant. The machines are farther apart and there's more going on thus doubling the people watching opportunities. It's only taken 10 weeks, but I've finally made it to the big gym - and I'm up to 45 minutes on the elliptical machine. I'll be climbing up that dog's ass in no time.

The elliptical machines are the fancy ones with individual TV screens mounted at the top of the display panel. In other words, if you're short, you might as well just look at the ceiling. Usually, I set the TV on something mindless and then listen to my iPod. I'm figuring out my preferred work-out music and let me just say, "Thank God for headphones." I can serenely pedal away while Dee Snyder insists that he's not goin' take it anymore, or Joan Jett vehemently denies that she gives a damn about her bad reputation. These are bad enough, but the other day, I found myself thinking, "Damn right, Britney, I am stronger than yesterday." Again, thank the good lord for headphones. And, yes, that's the only Britney Spears song on my iPod.

Today, I'd set my TV on the gym's music video channel, set my iPod and started pedaling. At about the 25 minute mark, I tuned in to both the music in my ears and the video on the screen. I heard Britney warbling away about being stonger than yesterday while watching a very sweaty, flannel-clad Neil Young lumber across the stage, strum his guitar and grimace while standing at the microphone. I almost burst out laughing. For a brief moment, it seemed like ole Neil had sucked down some helium and decided to sing Britney's top 10. There was Neil, grimacing away, singing, "Here I go, on my own! I don't need nobody, better off alone!" The crowd shots almost sent me over the edge. Die-hard Neil Young fans waving their arms, yelling, "Yeah, Neil! It's nothin but your way! Woohoo!"

If you'd like to experience this unique musical collaboration, here's the link to Neil's video on youtube. Turn down the volume and crank up Britney. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBS3B2cZcFM&mode=related&search=