The Last Day and a Half

It all started when I couldn't make chili because I'd forgotten to thaw the ground beef. OK, it probably started when I put the ground beef in the freezer. Two days ago, I planned to make chili, figuring I'd have it for dinner, and could easily reheat it when I got home from class the next night. All went according to plan, until 4:45 when I realized that I hadn't thawed the meat. So, I went to Plan B - rehash the previous night's dinner and figure something out the next day.

The next day dawned. At least, I think it did. It was really foggy all day so it's hard to tell if the sun ever made an appearance. I'd planned to write for a while, then head out to meet my aunt and uncle for lunch before heading to school. The writing went relatively well - mostly footnotes, but hey, it's words on a page.

The lunch date was a drop point for the Christmas sausage that my mother sent to her brother. I was the mule. No, I did not use tried and true drug smuggling techniques to transport the sausage. Instead, I put it in a cooler on ice. I consider it a minor miracle that I remembered the sausage at all. I had to drive over an hour to meet them at 1:00. I figured I'd leave at 11:45. So, I got in the shower at 10:00 and was out the door at 10:45. About halfway there, I thought, "I should check the time to make sure I'm not late." It was then that I realized that I was on track to arrive at noon, not 1:00. "Crap," I thought. I arrived right on time, if we'd agreed to meet at noon.

So, I went to the loudest Starbucks in the world and reviewed my lecture notes. I made my way to the restaurant and waited. And waited. Then, I got my lunch and waited some more. At 1:45, I decided they weren't coming. I thought, "Well, it's their sausage" - which, honestly, is the first time I've ever had that particular thought. I called and they'd forgotten. We planned to meet for dinner. I told them that if they didn't show up, I and their sausage were heading home (again, the first time I'd ever uttered that sentence.)

I went to school, arriving early to resolve some technical issues. I'd promised to post powerpoint slides for my students, and I did. I spent 3 hours figuring out how to post them on the university's file sharing system that I can access from my home computer. Turns out, none of the students use that file sharing system. Instead, they use the file sharing system that only works on campus - the campus that is over an hour from my house. Nothing is ever easy, I thought.

So, none of my students had the lecture notes. Probably just as well because it was by far, bar none the dullest, most boring lecture ever. Turns out, if you pull your lecture from boring textbooks, you end up with a boring lecture. I put more than one student to sleep. Some of them perked up when I injected some discussion, but overall, it was dismal. Almost as dismal as the pea-soup fog outside. I had 45 minutes between classes - not long enough to rework the lesson so I just had to sit in utter agony, waiting for the opportunity to be boring and dull again.

I'd planned to go to my office in between classes. The office was locked and I don't know the combination to get in. My shoes really hurt my feet by this point and my hair was doing increasingly strange and wondrous things in the overwhelming humidity.

I trudged back to the office, called a friend who assured me that the lecture couldn't have been that bad, and waited for time to pass. The next class went much the same as the first, except that students asked questions that I couldn't answer. Always a good way to start the semester. I'm choosing to see this as a test of my ability to sling bs. By the end of the semester, I plan to achieve full monkey status. At the end of class, one of the students asked if I was going to post my lecture notes, as well as the powerpoint slides. Before I could stop myself, I said, "What do you want from me?" Seriously. If I post all of that material, why would I bother coming to class?

After lecture, with horribly aching feet and frizzy hair, I met my aunt, uncle, and cousins for dinner. It was good to see them, but I just wanted to go home. We finished, I gave them the sausage, and I headed home in the fog. I walked in the door, took off my shoes, and sat like a zombie on the couch.

Today, I'm making chili. I'm sure this will reverse my fortunes and get me back on the right track.