Cute

Is it possible that everything is "cute"? Lately, I've become a-cutely aware of a veritable epidemic of cuteness. A term that was once reserved for puppies

and teddy bears

is now being used to describe everything. Everything is "cute," and not in that snarky "yeah, cute, really cute" way. No, instead, everything is sugar-coated gumdrops and lollipops cute.

I offer the following evidence:

• Clothes: During last week's shopping trip, I made two new friends. OK, they weren't so much "friends." They were more like "two annoying adolescent girls who followed me around all day." Any time I'd go into a dressing closet and close the door, I'd hear a squeaky, "Oooh, that's so cute" from another closet. The squeaky voice was followed by an extensive evaluation to determine just how "cute" the item of clothing was. Was it really cute? Was it cuter than the same item in a different store? What about the same item in the store before that? Would it go with the cute shoes, or would she need to buy newer and cuter shoes? Were the shorts too cute for the top? And on and on and on. I didn't stick around long enough to see if the poor girl ever found the exact right cute pair of white shorts.


• Movies: Yesterday afternoon, I decided that since I was on summer vacation, I could take in an afternoon movie in the middle of the week. So, I took myself to see Sex and the City: The Movie. I enjoyed it - it was perfect escapism. I followed two college-aged girls out of the theater, and as we got to the outside door, one asked the other for her thoughts on the movie. "It was really cute," she replied. Unlike the shopping girls, these two didn't launch into a comprehensive assessment of the movie's relative cuteness. Instead, they moved on to other matters of cute importance - like where they were going to meet their cute friends for a cute dinner in a cute restaurant.


• Porn: Yes, porn is cute. Just ask Bridget's mother. OK, so I've been known to watch The Girls Next Door on E! What of it? In this week's episode, Bridget and her mother went on a trip to Chicago. While there, Bridget took her mother to the city's Playboy offices, so her mom could meet all of Bridget's co-workers and get a tour of the facilities. As an added bonus, Bridget and her mother got a preview of some new photos of Bridget in varying stages of undress. Her mother's reaction, "Oh, these are really cute." I daresay that if my mother saw similar pictures of me, she would not say, "Oh, these are really cute," unless that statement was immediately followed by, "It's too bad that I'm going to have to kill you now."


• Major cities: In the same episode, Bridget asked her mother for her impressions of Chicago. Her mother said, "I liked it." Bridget then added, "Yeah, it's such a cute city." What does that mean? Did all the skyscrapers have pigtails with little pink ribbons? Did the river run chocolate that day, with little gumdrops floating along? Did everyone break into "It's a Small World, After All" and dance down Michigan Avenue? Clearly, Bridget hasn't read Upton Sinclair's The Jungle. Nothing cute about that.
  

I considered fighting this rising current, but I think I'll just swim along. When I introduce my syllabus to my students, I'll be sure to point out all of the cute reading they'll be doing. Then, we'll have cute discussions and they can write cute papers and take cute exams. When I grade their work, I'll be sure to note, "Cute analysis!" or "Cute thesis!" on their assignments. This opens up a whole new range of possibilities for me.

In the midst of this explosion of cuteness, I hold to the belief that there are some limits - some things that will never be cute. Slavery, for example. AIDS. Gun violence. Natural disasters. And Hitler. Whew.