Sugar High

The semester is over and the grading has begun. I'm learning so many interesting things from my students. Overall, I see their exams as a big game of telephone. You know, the game where you sit in a circle with your friends. One friend whispers a message to another and you "pass" the message around the circle, each friend taking a turn whispering to the person next to them. At the end of the circle, the last friend announces your message, which often bears no resemblance to your original message. That's the way my exams work. I know what I said, but what my students repeat back bears little or no resemblance to my original message. I'd post some of their responses, but that would be totally unprofessional. Instead, I'll chuckle to myself.

Anyway, I took a break from grading to get my hair cut and to get some groceries for dinner. I settled on steak, potato, salad, and red wine. I also needed some bread and chips. So, that's what I put on the conveyor belt in the check-out line. As I reviewed the trashy magazines to see who's doing who and who's getting screwed (often the same story), I took note of the fellow who queued up behind me.

He was an older fellow (in this case, "older" meaning, "older than me."). I mention this because I think it's important to point out that he was not a 6 year-old. He unloaded his cart onto the conveyor and when he was done, there were 2 bags of big marshmallows, 6 cans of vanilla frosting, 2 boxes of generic rice krispies, 2 boxes of generic butter sticks, and 2 bags of Hershey's miniature candy. That's it.

I was going to say something like, "Wow, that's a really healthy diet," but I stopped myself. I figured that he was going to bake something meant for a crowd, but who knows, maybe he was going to head home and whip up a big batch of frosting and rice krispies. Then, he'd settle in front of his TV to watch Friday Night Smackdown and make snowmen out of the marshmallows, stacking 3 together on popsicle sticks. He'd melt the chocolate and dip the snowmen, making what could only look like poop on a stick (I know because I saw a similar item in a gift shop in the NEPIW). I didn't want to think about what he had planned for the butter.

Admit it - right now, you're picturing a 50-ish fellow slathered in butter, eating spoonfuls of frosting and rice krispies, and dipping marshmallows in chocolate - all while watching professional wrestling. No need to thank me.

Reminded me of the time that I ordered a pizza and decided to stop by the grocery store on my way to pick it up. I got a 6-pack of beer and a pint of Ben and Jerry's. As I stood in the check-out line, the woman behind me looked at my purchases and said, "Well, you've certainly had a worse day than I've had." I said, "You said it, sister!"