Make-Up Encounter

Today, I broke free from my apartment for a quick errand to the mall. I needed to go to the post office, get some face lotion, and drop off the recylcing. I know, I'm really living the exciting life these days.

I made it through the post office with minimal difficulty. Some fellow was next to me at the counter, explaining something about an eBay purchase gone bad. As I listened, I thought, "I don't think I've ever heard a thicker southern accent in my life." It's still ringing in my ears - it was a looonnng story. Something about a failed delivery and a money order and a PayPal account and more about the failed delivery...

I mailed my packages and went into the mall. Immediately, I was on sensory overload. This is what happens when you spend the entire weekend in your apartment. "Focus," I thought. I made it to the Clinique counter and approached the impeccably made-up salesgirl in the immaculate white coat. "I need a refill of the yellow face lotion," I said (completely forgetting the actual name of the yellow face lotion.) "Sure," she said. She got the lotion, put it on the counter, and turned to me. "You know," she said, "we're having Clinique Days where we give free make-up tips. Would you like some free make-up tips?"

I looked past her into the mirror behind the register. I looked like crap. No make-up, big dark circles under my eyes, pale skin. I looked back at her and said, "No, thanks." She looked really disappointed. I'm a little surprised she didn't just throw a lasso around me and tie me to the chair. I give her credit for not saying something like, "You should really do this, because you look like crap warmed over. Seriously. You actually left your house like that?"

Now that I'm back home, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't take her up on her offer. Maybe next time. Or perhaps, I should have asked, "Are you saying there's something wrong with my make-up? I worked for hours to look like this. Literally. Hours. Lost sleep to achieve this look." The name of the lotion is "Dramatically Different lotion," so when she asked about make-up tips, I could have said, "Nope. I've got this lotion. I'm all set. All I need to look dramatically different is right here in this bottle."