Guess who's writing a dissertation

Today, as I wasted some time with celebrity gossip (don't judge!), I came across this snippet from Showbiz Spy:

Hollywood heartthrob Orlando Bloom has been told to step his personal hygiene — because his on-again, off-again girlfriend Miranda Kerr thinks he’s “too smelly”. “Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly,” says a source close to the couple. “Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often.”

When the 31-year-old isn’t filming his latest Hollywood blockbuster, he “goes days without washing his clothes,” the source tells Star magazine. “He’ll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks.” And the ‘Pirates of The Caribbean’ star makes matter worse — by allowing his pet pooch Sidi sleep in his bed and slobber all over him. Since Victoria’s Secret model Miranda, 24, told him to clean up his act, Orlando has been trying. But, says the source, he’s told friends “he doesn’t know if this relationship will last.”

OK, clearly this Miranda person has totally unrealistic expectations. She actually expects him to shower and change his clothes everyday? C'mon. And, are we really supposed to believe that he does his own laundry? How disappointing.

There can only be 2 explanations for his behavior:
1) He's trying to convince everyone that he is a man (Dating supermodel - check. Stinking - check, check) OR
2) He's writing a dissertation.

I'm pretty sure it's option #2. Truth be told, if I wasn't teaching this semester, I'd sit at home and stink, too. The dissertation theory also explains Bloom's lackluster performance in Pirates of the Caribbean, Part 3. I can certainly sympathize - having to perform at a job to pay the bills while you're completely exhausted and distracted by something that has yet to pay off. At least he had multiple takes, unlike my lectures in front of the classroom. No blooper reel on the DVD Box Set from my class.