Georgia Voter

That's right, I'm a Georgia Voter. Got my very own sticker to prove it. This year, the great state of Georgia is opening the flood gates early and letting any jackass (or elephant) vote early. Works out great for me because I have to be at Big City University all day on Tuesday, a location that is most definitely out of my voting precinct.

So, I performed my civic duty yesterday. I went downtown and got all prettified at the salon, then headed to the county Board of Elections. OK, I didn't get prettified just to vote, just coincidence. And, you never know who you'll meet in line to vote. As soon as my hairdresser put the finishing touches on my hair, I ventured out into the cold misty afternoon. "Maybe everyone is staying inside," I thought as I walked toward the Board of Elections.

I turned the corner and realized that everyone was not staying inside. Instead, they were clogging the sidewalk outside the Board of Elections. So, I turned around and walked to my car - where the meter had already expired. I didn't have any change to feed the meter, having used my last quarter on the first hour. Undaunted and filled with civic and national pride, I moved my car to the parking garage and joined the line.

I was really impressed with the number of people who were willing to stand in the cold and mist to cast their ballots. I waited about 45 minutes. I shivered a bit. I thought about what the mist and humidity was doing to my coif, and hoped my hairdresser wouldn't see me turning his hard work into a big frizzy mess. I thought that I really should have worn more comfortable shoes. Oh, and I thought about this historic election and how lucky I am to live in a democracy. No, really, I did.

Scanning the crowd on the sidewalk, I noticed a great diversity among the voters. Black, white, young, old, tall, short, obviously insane... OK, it was just one guy. He had on flannel holiday pajama bottoms with Tweety Bird calling for "Holiday Tweets for everyone." He carried a pink cordoroy purse with fur trim and wore a red velvet coat. As I made my way through the maze inside the teeny tiny office, he clutched his papers and moved from one line to the next, clearly confused and out of his element. I took a few more steps up the Geek Ladder as I thought about the 1908 Georgia voting law that required all voters to be sane. The same law required literacy tests and "good character." I thought about that as I took note of all of the African American voters in line with me. I also recognized a number of the pictures in the Board of Elections. "Oh, that's the 1912 woman suffrage parade in Washington DC," I thought. I stopped short of giving an impromptu lecture on the history of voting. I like to think that my fellow voters felt short-changed.

I finally worked my way to the voting machines. Carefully, I made my selection on the touch screen, double-checking to make sure I didn't pull a "2000 Florida" and choose the wrong candidate by mistake. I registered my vote and pulled out the little yellow card. I exchanged the card for my "Georgia Voter" sticker and walked out into the afternoon mist, leaving Tweety Pants sitting in the corner, looking very bewildered.

As I drove out of downtown, I passed a procession of strangely clad people, advertising a local version of the Gong Show at a local bar. I didn't recognize everyone in the procession, but I did recognize Jesus and Pac-Man. And an alien. I considered introducing these folks to Tweety Pants, but decided to carry on about my business, making a mental note to always carry my digital camera because you never know when you'll need it.