Motherhood Survey

Last May, I came across this survey. Now, I don't have any children, but I know plenty of people who do (for instance, my mother has children). I read this survey with some interest, and noted my reflections in brackets.

Woman's Day/AOL motherhood survey
04/20/07

1000 mothers responded to this survey are published in the May 8, 2007 issue of Woman’s Day magazine. Here are the top answers in each category.

If stay-at-home moms got a paycheck, how much should they earn annually?
35% responded: $50,000
[$50,000?? That's it?? Now, to be fair, we don't know that the other choices were, but c'mon! ]

What was/is the most challenging stage of your child’s life for you as a mom?
31% responded: When they were teenagers

What stage was/is the most enjoyable?
39% responded: Ages 1 to 3, full of first steps and big accomplishments
[So, have all the fun you can with your young children, because apparently, you're in for a long, long road ahead. And so are your children, as they will have experienced their "big accomplishments" by age 3. Maybe that's why they're such miserable teenagers.]

Forget about dishes or household chores: If your husband were able to spend more time at home, how would you use that time?
39% responded: Just enjoying being a couple
[For wives, this meant talking, sharing personal feelings, holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes. Husbands, on the other hand, thought this meant sitting around watching sports, drinking beer, and scratching themselves, with their wives sitting nearby.]

Who’s the hottest celebrity mom?
40% responded: Angelina Jolie

Pick the celebrity dad you’d most like to have kids with.
37% responded: Johnny Depp
[Duh. I don't even want children and I'd have children with Johnny Depp.]

Which TV mom is most like you?
49% responded: Debra Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond
[Just imagine if a bunch of Peg Bundys responded to the survey.]

What’s your ultimate goal for your children?
83% responded: That they get into good colleges and have rewarding careers
[And stop mooching off their parents!]

Rate yourself as a mother:
65% responded: I do the best I can.
[Wonder what the other choices were. "I stink at it." "I have no maternal instincts and my children would be better off raised by wolves."]

Are moms better off today than they were in the 1950s?
45% responded: We may have different challenges than our mothers did, but we’re not any better or worse off.
[And Betty Friedan just turned over in her grave. Thanks, second-wavers. Good to see your efforts weren't in vain.]

If you work outside the home, what’s your primary motivation?
52% responded: We need the money.
[Other choices - "I need to get away from my children." "I need adult contact." "I'd go bat-shit crazy if I had to stay at home full-time."]

What’s the most difficult thing about being a mom?
52% responded: Making time for myself—I sneak into the bathroom just to have a moment alone.
[I don't ever want to have a life where I have to sneak in the bathroom just to have a moment alone.]

When it comes to your kids, do you have a favorite?
84% responded: No. I love my kids equally.
[Seriously, what were the other options? "I love my first born, but that second kid has got to go."]

Do you and your husband share the responsibilities of child-rearing equally?
39% responded: I take care of their daily needs, but we make the major decisions about our children together.
[Other choices: "No, he does everything." This choice scored a negative percentage from respondents.]

Moms have spoken. Things are different, but not better. And, they want to have kids with Johnny Depp. Interesting that the magazine doesn't ask if they'd rather have kids with Johnny Depp or their own husbands. Probably best to let that sleeping dog lie.