Newspaper Ads

Let me start by saying that I am not in the market for a dog. That said, I read through the ads for pets in today's paper. It's a very slow day.

I came across these gems:

Beagle puppies, AKC registered, 6 wks old, male and female, parents onsite, good for hunting or pets!
[So, if you want to hunt some beagles, these people can set you right up.]

Cocker spaniel AKC, beautiful puppies, home raised with children.
[Too bad, I prefer my puppies cave-raised with wolves.]

Great Dane, AKC, female puppy, 5 mths old, Last of Liter.
[I really don't have anything more to add.]

Great Pyrenees puppies, 4 months old, male and female purebred, excellent as pet or guardian, gentle with children, raised with goat herd.
[Sound of Music, anyone? Ladee-o'deladee-o'delow]

Miniature schnauzer puppies, AKC, black and silver, this breed does not shed fur.
[What does it shed? Pounds? Chocolate?]

[Then, in the tradition of blending names to designate a new breed, as in Bennifer and Brangelina, we have the following:]

Shitzupoos, CKC registered, all shots and wormed.

[I 've decided that I can't own one of these dogs, because I'm not nearly mature enough to say the breed name out loud without chuckling like Beevis and/or Butthead.]

Again, it's a very slow, gray day.