Dangers of Working From Home

These days, I'm working from home full time. This means that I live in pajamas for the first half of the day, spend a lot of time in front of my computer, and have limited contact with other people. I don't realize how squirrely I've become until I'm out and about in the general population.

Case in point: Last week, I ventured from the safety of my apartment to attend a meeting. For three days, I had limited time to myself, spending most of my day traveling or in a big conference room with approximately 100 other people. Big difference from my typical day. My brain struggled to keep up with the constant visual and auditory stimulation, finally surrendering and leaving me helpless to engage in appropriate conversation.

When one woman asked how I was doing after I moved, I said that the South was great, but I couldn't flush my toilet as much as I wanted to because we're in a drought. She looked aghast, which was my cue that perhaps planting the mental image of me on the toilet was not entirely appropriate.

But, I wasn't finished. Later, when a male colleague commented about our dinner, I told him that I'd joined a gym, go 4 times a week, and I've gained 15 pounds. Again, aghast response. After all, it's not everyday that a near stranger confides such personal information.

But, nope, still not done. Completely unprovoked, I told yet another male colleague this same story, and added that my mother says it's "middle age." The colleague said, "You're not middle aged," to which I replied, "Well, unless I'm going to live to be 100..."

So, I'm fat, old, and disgusting. Oh yeah, these folks will definitely want to keep me around. Well, they'll probably want to keep me around to see what I'll say next, not because of my professional qualifications. Just what every working woman aspires to. I'm going to crawl back into my apartment now.