Water...Need Water...

Still dry as a powderkeg here. No rain in the forecast, now that Tropical Storm Noel took one look toward north Georgia and said, "Hell no, I won't go." Autumn is dismal, as all the leaves go straight from green to shriveled brown. From recent news reports, we're becoming a bit nutty.

In the latest "drought-mania" stories:

• A local dentist installed port-a-pots in his office parking lot and is encouraging his staff (most of whom are related to the dentist) to use the port-a-pots instead of the indoor facilities. The article in the paper assured the general public that the dentist's patients could still use the indoor facilities. Let's hope this dentist's extreme conservation doesn't extend to hand-washing. I'm happy to report that this is not my dentist.
• Meanwhile, at the Georgia Aquarium, they're installing no-water urinals, hoping to save 1 million gallons of water each year. Wonder if they figured in how much water it will take to clean the no-water urinals. I'm guessing they didn't discuss their plans with the custodial staff. That's not all the Aquarium is doing for the cause. They've also drained a few exhibits. Lest we think the aquarium staff have lost their minds, they assured everyone that no fish were harmed in the draining of the tanks. So, no fish fry at the aquarium.
• In a recent letter to the editor, some fellow who is clearly vying for the "Lou Dobbs Award" argued that illegal immigrants were making the drought worse. In a masterful, albeit racist and outlandish, adaptation of anti-immigrant logic, he makes the following argument: Because these folks are here "illegally," they're sucking up valuable resources (in this case, water) and leaving none for the rest of us. And, because they don't pay taxes, they enjoy all of these services for free. Because apparently, they've located the only "all utilities free" housing in town. Wish I was smart enough to have running water in my house without having to pay for it. Seems we could all learn a lot from illegal immigrants. In his final point, the fellow really stretches the argument, and finally goes completely off the rails. According to this genius, illegal immigrants send all of our valuable resources back to their country of origin, so we can't have them. I wondered where all those tanker trucks were headed.
• And, finally, some good folks in a neighboring county organized a prayer service to ask the Almighty for rain. During the service, one of the ministers assured the faithful that the drought was a natural process, not God's punishment. I have to admit that I found this reassuring. I was glad to know that God wasn't spending his time figuring out ways to screw over north Georgia, that perhaps He had better things to do with his time.

So, the drought continues. We have officially reached Step F of the county's drought management plan. I think we can all guess what the "F" stands for.