Lotion commotion

Today's blotter carries the most creative response to the drought: Door-to-door lotion sales. I'll let you absorb that before I go on.

As the pioneering lotioneer was negotiating a sale, some other fellow "beat him up and stole his lotion." The salesman flagged down a police officer, who went to find additional witnesses to the great lotion commotion. When the officer returned, the victim had slipped away.

The lotion thief, "Hamp," is homeless and has a scraped knee and cheek. The blotter writer wants us all to know, "The lotion was valued at $5 and 'smells good,' according to police." As opposed to the "hot" lotion that's more expensive and stinks. Police have issued an all-points bulletin for "Homeless man with really soft fragrant skin trying to move a large supply of lotion."

Word has it that the lotion salesman is really chapped about the whole thing, though his friends are telling him that he needs to have a thick skin.