Get thee behind me, Defense!

Dissertation written - check.
Dissertation defended - check, check.
Graduating without a full-time job - check, check, check.

Last Friday, on a cold rainy morning in the northeastern post-industrial wasteland, I defended my dissertation. Judy Collins was nowhere to be seen. The defense went well. My committee members pointed out improvements, but I don't have to make any major revisions. Apparently, I have issues with commas. I, use, them, too, much. I decided not to kick the committee member who pointed this out. I also decided not to point out that his facial hair looks foolish.

And, so another chapter closes. On the way home yesterday, I changed planes in the Motor City. As I walked down the concourse, I stopped to get a bagel. On the register, I read the following sign: "If we fail to give you a receipt, your next meal is free." I thought, "If you fail to give me a receipt, how will you know if I've ever been here before?" I was tempted to test my theory when I got to the cashier. When she told me the total for my purchase, I almost said, "But you didn't give me a receipt the last time, so this is free."

I decided that only an academic dork would figure this out, and although I've just earned admission into the academy, I don't want to become one of those people. Not yet.