Another Saturday Night

It's 7:35 on a Saturday evening and I just put on sweats. As I changed from my day clothes, I thought, "Time was, I'd feel pretty bad about this turn of events - Saturday night, no plans, no special someone to spend time with." Tonight, not feeling bad at all. I got home from the airport at 10:30 last night and I'm still worn out. Sweats, a glass of white wine, and X-Files on Netflix sounds pretty good right about now. I'm old and I don't care.

The nice young man who bought me dinner last Saturday did not call. He said he would, but he didn't. I don't know this fellow very well, but I've decided that he must live on the Lost island. This is the only possible explanation for his total lack of awareness when it comes to time. He lives in a temporal anomoly. According to him, it's only Tuesday. Plenty of time to call for a date on Saturday. Of course, if he does live on Lost island, he'll either be dead or stranded there very soon, and well, I just don't have the guts to deal with Ben Linus. The nice young man is on his own and I'll gladly spend my Saturday evenings in sweats. Ben Linus is one scary you-know-what.

On a different note, I read in today's paper about a 21 year old fellow who walked into his local North Texas bank and asked to cash a $360 billion check. That's 10 zeroes. When the teller rightfully inquired as to the origin of the check, the fellow explained that his girlfriend's mother gave him the check to start a record business. Sure, that sounds totally believable. Almost as believable as "I'll call you."

Quick thinking bank officials guessed that the check was a forgery, but checked with the girlfriend's mother just to be sure. The poor woman verified that the fellow did not have permission to cash the check - only after she started breathing again and regained control of her bowels. I'm not sure there are instuments to measure how far the multi-billion dollar check would have bounced.

The young man is in jail, charged with forgery, unlawful possession of a weapon, and possession of marijuana. I think the last item in the list explains a lot. I bet he still thinks he was demanding $360 gazillion. I'm also guessing that he's not dating his girlfriend any more. And people wonder why I'm still single.