More Unfortunate Events

Seems my semester of unfortunate events isn't over yet. On Monday, I received my graduation regalia in the mail. The regalia consists of a kelly green plastic robe with cheap felt stripes stitched on the sleeves and a ridiculous hat. The hat looks like a combination driver's cap and eight-pointed shower cap. It's too big for my head. Yes, I fully appreciate the symbolism - head not big enough to fit into academic hat.

I decided that the regalia was worthy of a blog entry, and decided that words would not be enough to communicate the true horror of this get-up. I got out the digital camera I received for Christmas, snapped a few pictures, and got ready to join the 21st century - I was going to load pictures onto my computer. I started by trying to load the software for the digital camera. My computer started to install the software, then I got the blue screen of death, telling me that Windows had a problem and had to shut down, which it did.

The computer came back up, again with a blue screen. This screen said it was checking FAT32. I let it run through its process and it started to reboot. Next thing I knew, the computer was stuck in an endless reboot loop - it would start to reboot and then shut down before it was done. Very frustrating. It's really hard to fix a computer when it won't boot up.

I called a friend who advised me to turn the computer off and take it to someone more knowledgeable than either of us. Meanwhile, I kept thinking, "She has a copy of the dissertation. She has a copy of the dissertation." Trying to ignore the frantic screaming in my head, I packed up the computer and drove an hour and fifteen minutes to the tech guy at the college where I worked this semester.

After much manipulation, he was able to retrieve all of my files - whew! - but the computer is still broken. He explained that the camera software tried to access a corrupted driver and that's what sank the ship. He might have to reformat the whole damn thing. He'll also have to work on my computer in between all of his other work, so I'm without a computer for 2 weeks. My other option was to take it somewhere else, but I don't have money for computer repair. The techie assures me that I don't need to buy a new computer. I just need to be patient.

I really hate Bill Gates right now. And I hate Kodak for tanking my computer. I'm working from a friend's house, so I'm not in the comfort of my own home, but at least it's free and comfortable. It's just a pain in the ass. Yesterday, I realized that I don't have the file I need to complete a consulting project. Where is the file - it's an hour and fifteen minutes away. I asked the kind techie to look for the file and email it to me. He emailed 2 files that aren't anything like what I need. So, tomorrow, I get to go back to the college and collect more of my files. Very aggravating.

I feel very unsettled about everything now. Nothing seems to be where it should be, my routine is disrupted, and everything seems like a huge, insurmountable obstacle. If you're keeping track: My TV picture is all fuzzy, my car continues to make pinging noises when I turn it off, my toilet flusher handle doesn't reset on its own, my dryer bangs when it's full, and my vacuum cleaner doesn't suck. Everything else in my life sucks, so I guess the vacuum decided that it could stop.

Yesterday, on my way home from my new home office away from home office, I passed a church sign that read: Don't ask for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back. I almost turned around and gave those people a piece of my mind. Instead, I just muttered unChristian things under my breath.

As my life spirals beyond my control, I've decided to return to yoga. I got some indication that this might be the right decision on my way to class yesterday evening. I stopped at a light behind a car with a bumper sticker that simply read: It will be OK. Much more affirming than the church sign. God does work in mysterious ways.