During and after orientation, I met some of my new colleagues. There are six new "visitors," so we form a confused cohort, desparately trying to look like we have our shit together. I met one fellow at last week's orientation. He has thick curly black hair, thinning on top but robust on his face. He looks like a caricature of a terrorist, which I thought was an interesting look to adopt.
Yesterday, I met another fellow, "Baldy" we'll call him. Baldy seems to think a lot of himself and talks a lot. When I practiced my social skills and asked him what he was teaching, he pointed to the only two books in his office and said, "I'm teaching US History, using these two books in comparative perspective." Then, he launched into a long explanation about how students need to understand the standard narrative before they can critique it. Blah, blah, blah...in a thick New York accent. I'm planning to avoid him for the rest of the semester.
To round out my new friends, there's the engaging little dork from one of those flat midwestern states. He's lived in the South for 2 weeks and is "still adjusting." And, I met two women lecturers. Both seemed to be appropriately guarded, which I appreciate. Boundaries are our friends. All of them were shocked to learn that I choose to live in the other college town - as if the town was on the other side of the moon. Upon reflection, perhaps explaining my decision by saying, "I love it there and I hate it here" might not have been the best choice.
After orientation, I managed to accomplish last week's tasks: went through the magic brown door and got my parking permit, signed up for benefits, and got the key to my classrooms. Then, it was on to yesterday's tasks, which I did not accomplish. I did successfully move from metaphor to reality. I guess that's something.
The department secretary told me that I was assigned to Room 2151, even though there wasn't a key for the office. Armed with the master key, I and my fellow lecturers went to the 21st floor and found 2150 and 2152 with a blank wall in between.
No more metaphor, I was literally staring at a brick wall. I suggested that perhaps I needed to solve a riddle, like in Lord of the Rings, and the wall would move and reveal my office. Or maybe it was like that Harry Potter room that only appeared "when I really needed it." Unfortunately, I left my wand at home.After many trips from the 20th to the 21st floor and back again, the secretaries determined that I'm not in the Mines of Moria but instead, I'm in 2154 - a rather large corner office. No window, but it's bigger than all the other visiting offices and I have an extra bookcase. Finally, my luck might be changing. I still don't have a key and my name isn't on the door and I don't have a computer, but I feel like I'm making progress. At least we determined that I don't have to hold office hours in the hall.
Next, a kindly full-time faculty member took me and the engaging dork on the official campus tour. The campus is urban and state-funded, so lots of concrete and non-descript classrooms. The buildings form a labyrinth of hallways, bridges, and secret tunnels. I'm sure I'll run into
Gollum or the Mad Hatter at some point. I'm also sure that both were former faculty members who got lost and went crazy. Now Gollum wanders the halls, clinging to the hope that one day he'll find his parking pass - his "precious."I'll return tomorrow and see if I can accomplish yesterday's tasks. I'm also going to try to navigate the maze by myself. Wish me luck.
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