Southern Masculinity

In our postmodern age, historians often discuss major categories of analysis as "social constructions." Definitions of race, gender, class and culture are determined by the historical context in which they exist. In other words, race is not solely biologically determined and static. Instead, our understanding of race and the meanings we assign change over time. Same with gender, class, and culture.

I found myself reflecting on these ideas when I pulled up behind a red Ford pick-up truck yesterday. In the time that it took for the light to change, I came to realize that this truck perfectly encapsulated the owner's construction of southern masculinity. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but it was masterful.

First, the truck itself. A Ford. Decidedly and proudly American made. And not some wimpy Ford, but one of those big Fords. The ones that scream, "Me, southern! Me, big man! Me, drive big truck! Grrrr!" And it was shiny red. Nothing hidden in that message. Big, red truck.

Next were the three guys in the truck. I think the one straddling the gear shift might have been the only contradiction in the whole picture. The passenger who called shotgun wore the obligatory baseball cap, today's equivalent of the cowboy hat of yore. I so wanted one of them to open his door and spit.

Moving on, I took in the truck "art." Here's where the owner really hit his stride. On the right side of the back window, he'd affixed the now iconic image of the little boy peeing. You know which one I'm talking about, the smirking little boy pees on "Chevy" if you drive a Ford, and "Ford" if you drive a Chevy. Yep, it's truly one of the crucial debates of our times. You can judge its importance by the medium of choice. Throughout history, all great questions have been settled by smirking peeing boy car decals. Most people don't know, but Abraham Lincoln had a smirking boy decal on his carriage. The boy peed on slavery.

This truck owner was a bit more creative. Instead of peeing, the smirking little boy on his window held a kite decorated with the Confederate Stars and Bars. I'd include a picture, but after several Google searches, I'm unable to find one and I don't want to look anymore. Scary things happen when you search for "peeing boy confederate flag kite."

Moving to the truck's tailgate, the owner had a magnetic American flag decal. There they were, the symbols of the Union and the Confederacy, separated by the length of a truck bed yet existing in harmony on one American-made truck. The fierce and enduring patriotism toward region and country on display. Southern AND American.

Then, my eyes gazed upon the truck's bumper. There, for all to see, in bright red letters on a white background, a bumper sticker proudly announced, "I [heart] VAGINA." I'll admit that I did a double-take, then sat in utter amazement, then started laughing. I'll also admit that my first thought was, "I wonder if they are gynecologists." So, although these three young men chose to sit three to a cab and one straddled a gear shift, let there be no confusion, they like girls.

Taken as a whole, the truck was a work of sheer genius. The symbols were so clear, so obvious. I began to wonder if the driver was a northern gay African American man, because he just seemed to be trying too hard to convince people otherwise.